Dressing in the Dark

Picture Shows: Edina (Jennifer Saunders) TX: BBC ONE, Friday, August 31, 2001 In Episode One of the new series of 'Absolutely Fabulous', Edina and Patsy succumb to the powers of Parralox, the new anti-wrinkle drug that paralyses the skin. Guest stars, Twiggy, Leigh Lawson, Michael Greco, Stephen Gately, Lady Victoria Hervey. WARNING: This copyright image may be used only to publicise current BBC programmes or other BBC output. Any other use whatsoever without specific prior approval from the BBC may result in legal action.

I’ve done it, you’ve done it…you’re in a rush, you’re super late, your alarm just goes off and your blinds are still down. The room still seem fuzzy as you try your hardest to get the eye cookies out of the corners and adjust your eyes. But your still half asleep, tooth brush in your mouth, brush in one hand, socks in the other. Slap on some blush, quick mascara, spit out toothpaste, water running, spit, rinse, repeat.

Hair in messy bun, a quick red lipstick swish, a top, skirt, nylons, damn a pull, quick application of clear polish to stop the run, heels, broken, flats, runners, grab overcoat, your husbands overcoat, purse, keys, a quick run to Tim Hortons and off you go.

You catch a glimpse of yourself for the first time when you’re sitting in traffic while looking at the traffic behind you.

Yup that’s you…ALL DAY LONG! You got dressed in the dark and you look like someone just pulled you out out of the cow’s behind and threw you into the dryer and didn’t bother to lay you to flat dry or iron you to get out some of those kinks. Just like a newborn calf, you are a complete mess, and not no where near as cute. Good job though. you’re only an hour late!


Whoa! What’s with the attitude? So you look like, like, well…that! it’s safe to say you’ve look better. Has society gone down the tubes when it comes to dressing up? Have we all become somewhat sloppy in our clothing and appearance choices. I think so sadly. We have surrendered a lot to the serenity of comfort of “not caring” just a little to much. I mean just take a gander around you and you’ll see what I mean. People watching is what i tend to do for my research as far as trends go. That and combing through magazines and sourcing the net and other means too. But just look around you, and you’ll see the “droop” the “sag” the”loosey-goosey” and the “I want to show you my belly, the crackin’ and me bussoms!” all in one go kind of people. Frankly our society has forgotten how to dress up for special events and just plain going to the mall, I mean c’mon at least try won’t  you?

The above perpetrators of Fashion Don’ts are all (in my opinion and GOOGLE, offenders of “Dressing in the Dark: Mishaps. Unfortunately the ones that did not dress in the dark have yet to meet the FASHION POLICE for their sentencing. JOAN RIVERS, wish you were here as no one could quite say it quite the way you would have to put these offenders on the right track. Get it together people!!!